Happy 9th Birthday, Gabe.

Dear Gabe,

Tonight I am sitting in a dark hotel room in South Dakota watching you sleep; balloons and banners taped to the walls to meet you with a "happy birthday" greeting when you wake.  We are here for spring break and it's been the best time.  Today we saw buffalo and antelope and sheep and hiked and climbed on rocks.  How fun that you get to spend your birthday in such an exciting and new place!

Tonight I held you in my arms and we took this picture.  You still hate pictures, but I wanted to capture your last night as an eight-year-old (and prove that I can still hold you!).  You see, tomorrow you'll turn 9, and it's the birthday I've wished would take the longest to arrive.  As always, I'm so happy to mark another year - another year of growing and learning and memories and health and you becoming more "you."  But 9 is halfway to 18, and I'm not sure I'm ready to be on the downhill side of that slope.  Nine means most of the "little kid" stuff is behind us, a fact you gladly acknowledge.  Nine means you're halfway to going away to college and living on your own; a thought that literally takes my breath away.  It's hard to explain why this is so bittersweet.  I think it's because it's just been such an amazing experience to watch you learn and grow these 9 years; changing and learning new things everyday.  I am fascinated by God's gift of you to us; you are such an amazing kid and have blessed us in so many ways.  My mother's heart wants to keep you small and protected, but it's a selfish desire and I know there is so much the future holds for you.

So, instead of hanging on to the last 9 years, I am choosing to celebrate this milestone with anticipation of what the next chapters will hold.  I hope I can be the kind of mom that encourages you in all the ways you'll need me to as you grow older and more mature.  You are incredibly smart, handsome, witty, sensitive and kind. Daddy and I could not be more proud and we pray God's best for you this year and for many years to come.

I love you, Gabie.  Happy 9th birthday!

Mommy